Thursday, June 16, 2011

4. The Wedding Situation





Ok so the situation is a bit changed from before. In Jan 2011, dad flew to India to convince family back home of the wedding situation and explained even though hsi daughter (me) has decided to marry inter-culturally, I had picked out a good guy with a great family and that R and I love each other and that the family should all support her. Well things were ok then and mine and my fiancee's families decided  together that since it will be a mixed marriage  - we will have the indian wedding ceremony in India (and everyone was gonna fly to India - R's family was beyond excited to go). I started dreaming of being a bride in the streets where I grew up, the temple that I had seen myself as the bride marrying with the groom while the family will dance and celebrate with us - this union. I couldn't have beem more happier. I was making plans to do this and that, and I will get this type of dress and Ryan in his traditional suit and how we will match on all the ceremonies and things would be just PERFECT!  Who was I kiddin? Myself.

Yesterday, we get the news that family back home is just not happy if we go to India and I respect that. But I feel disappointed and shattered as if time just stopped and dreams shattered. Bec I wanted the ceremony to be there in between both families and that would have been so much fun! I dont even know where to start to plan a wedding here. I don't know if we will even bother doing all the ceremonies here bec half my family from India and all my cousins that i grew up with where we had dreamt about hosting the wedding in India and dancing the heck out together - is all gone out the window. I don't even know if my grandparents will attend to give me their blesssings as we begin our new life. (I am crying as I type this).
=(

A co-worker said this morning to me - "Dont focus on what you have lost, focus on what you have gained". You know I try very hard to live positively and think positively but I just am so disappointed. Disappointed in the culture I come from, bec it says marry in the culture, no matter how rotten the person is. If anyone meets R (my fiancee), that kid will care for you till the end of time. He is a great son, brother, cousin, friend, boyfriend, grandson, any role he has excelled in it and its bec of the personal characteristics he has! Now, I chose to be with him because of who he is and even though cultures are different, he is still a person - a GOOD PERSON with a good heart and clean intentions. Hats off to him for sticking with me because nothing has been easy for us.

Now, on a different note, I love Ryan's family and I am happy that all of their side of family will attend and they make me feel so precious, so hopefully we will get to enjoy the big day regardless. Besides all the tension-ful things, I get to be with my man happily for many many years to come. I think that is the main thing and my mom dad and brother are happy to see me with him because they know of how much we love each other.

Anywho thats where the situatuion is right now. If you are new follower and wanna catch up on this " Love Story" you can do so by clicking here and here.


Thank you for listening!  Hope you are having a wonderful day, and now I am gonna go and starting making plans for both weddings here.  AND I will need all of yours help to make this happen. I have never been to a Canadian wedding and have to learn so much being the bride myself to walk down the aisle. Maybe I should get one of those Wedding Planning for Dummies books.. I better get started on it all! I will start a wedding series soon as I go through this ride with you all. Thank you to each one of you who took the time to comment on yesterday's post. I truely appreciate it!

2 comments:

  1. It will all work out in the end.  I have seen several inter racial marriages, and the family eventually comes around.

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  2. Hey,

    i know this is an old post, but I just HAD to comment on it...
    first of all *BIG HUG* I KNOW what you are going through...i was there about 1/2 a year ago. And I, too, was disappointed in our culture's closed-mindedness.

    i'm a south indian girl married (10 months!) to a wonderful mex-american man...and MAN was it a crazy ride to get to this point. we actually ended up going to India for 3 weeks to have a "proper tam-brahm" ceremony and then had a catholic ceremony in his hometown and both went amazingly well and our family is in LOVE with him now.

    trust me when i say, your family will come around. they will, when they meet him!

    and hold on to him, girl. These kinds of guys are rare...the ones who stick with you through all this...ridiculousness.
    *hugs hugs hugs*

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